Jason's Diary V.2

...If You See Him, Say Hi

2010-03-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well, we gave it the old college try.

I love the parallels of the song "Baker Baker" when it comes to the life and loves of Brandon Baker.

And I love that I get to forever include myself as one of them.

I also think, for me, it was necessary. I had shut myself off to the idea of relationships and dating people for almost five years. I think I'm ready now and I appreciate the safe environment our friendship provided me to test those waters.

It was a good time.

Baker, Baker...
Baking a cake.
Make me a day.
Make me whole again.
And I wonder what's in a day.
What's in your cake this time.

I guess you've heard he's gone to LA
He says that behind my eyes I'm hiding
And he tells me I pushed him away
That my heart's been hard to find.

Here... there must be something here.

Baker, Baker...
Can you explain,
If truly his heart was made of icing?
And I wonder how mine could taste.
Maybe we could change his mind.

I know you're late for your next parade.
You came to make sure that I'm not running.
Well, I run from him ...in all kinds of ways.
Guess it was his turn this time.

Time... thought I'd make friends with Time.
Thought we'd be flying high.
Maybe not ...this Time.

Baker, Baker...
Baking a cake.
Make me a day.
Make me whole again.
And I wonder if he's okay...
...if you see him, say hi.

Way Back In The Beginning

2010-03-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

While moving, I found these original prints of me a photographer shot on one of the first adult sets I ever covered as a journalist in 1999. That's Nina Hartley sitting on the couch. I remember not knowing these photos were being taken and it being a surprise when the photog gave them to me as a gift a few months later.

"You're going to want these someday," he told me.

When I asked why he said, "You're going to be around for a while."

Not a day goes by that I'm not grateful to the adult entertainment industry for embracing me, an outsider, and making me a part of a real community and family. Though like all families, it may have it's bad apples and may be dysfunctional at times, as they sing at the end of the movie "Boogie Nights," "God only know what I'd be without you!"

Sugar

2010-03-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

I needed to wake up with some "Sugar" this morning.

Sometimes a little Tori with your coffee just hits the spot.

Don't say morning's come.
Don't say it's up to me.
If I could take 25 minutes out of the record books.
Sugar. ...Bring me sugar.

Bobby's collecting bees and hammers.
He used one on me.
A cold war with little boys.
Get in with a bubblegum trade.

Sugar, just bring me sugar.
I know the robins bring their many things,
But Sugar, just bring me sugar.
As far as I can tell, I've been gone for miles now.

"And you know and I know, I don't know me very well.
And I know and you know, if they found me out."

Just watch. Just watch what they do.
Sweet boy when they find you out, tell me what you think they'll do.
When they find you've got a little in here, tell me what you think they'll do.
When they find you out... find out you're just a pussy.

My sweet boy, my sugar.
I know the robins bring their many things,
But Sugar, you bring me sugar.

Oh what they did to you...
Oh my God. My sweet boy.

The Mans In Review

2010-03-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

The book of my life could easily be divided into chapters of characterized phases wherein I play out different parts of my personality. In each chapter I've seen the world through the same pair of eyes but from a different angle which causes change in everything from my own appearance to priorities, actions to reactions... and often with these have come changes of scenery. I'll be moving to a gorgeous townhouse in West Hollywood tomorrow and one of my best friends and former roommates here at The Mans, Andy Kirra, will be moving in with me.

My time at The Mans, though one of the shorter chapters, will be one I'll always cherish. When I moved here in September 2008, I was so frightened I remember crying my first couple of nights. For those of you just joining our program (or our industry) you'll be surprised to know that until 2007, I was very much a hermit and had fewer friends than I could count on one hand, scared to let anyone too close to me for fear of being hurt. It wasn't until about three years ago that a series of events changed all that for me.

I'd had a bad breakup with a best friend/boyfriend of many years who was like my right hand, arm and leg which left me virtually unable to function not to mention nearly friendless as for many years we lived in a co-dependent bubble. I stayed in bed for about a year until I realized I needed to make some money and when club promoter Anthony Lopez called and asked me to host a show for him, I dragged my ass out of bed and old Liza went back to work. Funny I should say Liza because it truly was a "comeback" of sorts and I soon found myself hosting up to four shows a week in West Hollywood. It proved to be exactly what I needed. It forced me to connect with people for the first time on a genuine level, making me realize how many friends I'd had all along and it also got me to stop wallowing in my self-everything enough to finally be able to choose happiness over the insanity that pursues persistent each day in my head.

I made many many best friends who changed me and my life forever around that time, from Chi Chi LaRue to Joe Hui to Seth Apper. One such friend, Andy Kirra, got me so out of my shell I found myself spending entire weekends crashing in his room at The Mans laughing so hard my sides (and Lord knows, my liver!) hurt by Monday morning. It was like the sleepovers you would have with your best friend as children where you would get all high on sugar and laugh till you cried -- only now it involved booze! Our adventures ranged from the mundane (watching YouTube clips over and over) to absolute unbridled insanity (we tried to kill someone once) and I never wanted them to end. So when I heard there was an available room at The Mans, I jumped at the opportunity and learned to go from living alone to living in a big house with seven people. Though scary as hell, Andy and his husband at the time, Tristan Mathews, helped me to feel very needed there (we were really The Three Musketeers, for a while) and that took me out of myself and my own petty fears.

I made many other friends living at The Mans too who I hope to have in my life forever, from Dan to Michelle, Lelia to Mary to Erik to Quinn.

Living at The Mans taught me to be a better friend to people and to not need to control the people around me as much. In fact, many times, I learned to even stop trying to control my own life so much. And losing control can be a beautiful thing, in proper doses! I learned to entertain and throw great parties, on a large scale at nightclubs as well as more intimate evenings at home. I learned to stop basing my self worth in my work or my appearance, discovering that who I am has nothing to do with what I do or what I look like. I learned my limits - with work, with partying, with family and friends.

A series of great things happened for me professionally during my time at The Mans too! I'm now a full-time manager of gay porn superstars, having launched DV8 Casting. Meanwhile, DV8 Public Relations has seen a resurgence in clientele working regularly with Channel 1 Releasing, Erica McLean, Club Dean and many others. I'm also proud to say JasonCurious.com profits are higher than they've been in several years since I've returned to daily blogging and since the debut of our portals FreeChiChi.com and FreeFalconStudios.com.

I also fell in love with a long-time best friend, Brandon Baker and he manages to fulfill me, near, far or wherever he are. *wink* (Copyright PartywithBrandon.com)

With love in my life, friends at my side and my career at what is probably an all time high, yet again the changes in priorities begin and with it, a change of scenery. But this time, it feels like piece by piece, all of the fragments of the chapters past, all the many personalities, are suddenly settling comfortably into one being.

It's a wonderful feeling.

Below are pics of my new townhouse in Weho! They are not, however, my furniture. LOL... These photos were taken before the gay couple who lived there prior to me moved out. And they were, apparently, stuck in the 90's. However, I DO very much approve of the way in which they laid the place out! So that will stay the same.

I Always Wondered What I'd Look Like With Glasses

2010-02-22T23:20:00.000-08:00

Taken by Chi Chi LaRue at Logo's premiere party for "RuPaul's Drag Race" last month. What a FUN night!

I'll Be Back

2010-02-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Seattle,

"Then I thought I'd make some plans, when fire thought she'd really rather be water instead. ...But this is cooling, faster than I can."

Hold tight to your gloom. I'll be back in June.

L,
J.

A Quick Hello

2010-02-10T15:21:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted to my "Diary" in a while. Lots to catch up on in the coming days, but this is just a pic to let you all know... I'm doing well and very happy. :-P

From The Mouths of Babes

2010-01-21T23:40:00.000-08:00

One of the gay porn stars I represent through my DV8 Casting management company, Jason Pitt recently gave a convo to Gay Porn Star Interviews, which you can read by CLICKING HERE.

I was at first just scanning the article when a quote jumped out at me that I had to read a few times over to actually believe it came out of this 20 year old's mouth:

"Everything has something in common. Everything is on a balance. Everything has something good and bad. So, the main part of my belief is balance."

Wow. My eyes welled up with tears when I read it. Had I known that at his age, the relationships, friendships and partnerships I've had in my life over the past decade would have all gone very differently. It's so easy to make a swift judgment and deem some thing or someone "good" or "bad." With my spiritual beliefs, I know wholeheartedly that there is good in all things so that has never been a problem for me; however, when it comes to every day life, I am very much an extremist. When I see a lot of good in someone, I start to see that person as being completely perfect. When I see a lot of bad, I find a way to write them out of my script. And I'm not sure I can even tell you which of those things is worse. By seeing only perfection in people, I set them up to fail a test they didn't even know they were taking and set myself up for consistent disappointment. By writing people out, I don't get the opportunity to experience what good they had to offer or what even their "bad" may have had to teach me.

I guess it's really true what they say. I think we're all blessed with some things that come very naturally to us while we are also given our own personal challenges to conquer in this life. I'm sure there's many things difficult for him that came very easily to me at 20.

But that one demon of mine in particular just happens to be one I've personally chosen to do battle with at the moment. It's taken me this long to be able to even figure it out, so to hear someone 10 years younger than me say it and articulate it so beautifully just made me very nostalgic with floods of old stories with different possible endings. How I could have handled things differently with so many people.

And by so many people, I mean everyone! LOL

Ah, but today is a new day! ;-)

Kabbalah on Relationships

2010-01-16T21:48:00.000-08:00

A few years back, I opened a blog very different from any other project I've taken on called KabbalahCurious.com.

It's still up for your perusal, should you wish to take a gander. I've been a student for a total of 12 years now, and I not only study the aspects that The Kabbalah Centre teaches, but even the various branches they don't teach, including the meditative and magical elements of the Qabala sect as well. (I've got stacks of books by Israel Regardie I still haven't gotten through.)

I never stopped studying Kabbalah, but I stopped updating the blog -- namely because a series of events in my own life led me to the thought: "Who am I to tell anyone how to live theirs?" Some would argue I wasn't doing that to begin with, but only chronicling my own journey. Still, something just stopped feeling right about putting something as private as my own personal spiritual journey on display for the world to consume.

Okay, okay... I also got a little tired of people thinking I was just plain nuts. Truth be told, yes I still speak to inanimate objects. I still am guarded by the four archangels I sometimes greet at the start of my day. I still have a marching band of spirit guides, some of whom I see from time to time. I still get premonitions about the future that come to fruition. In short, I'm still a total loon. I have just learned to keep those things to myself. I don't know if that's healthy or not and I don't know that I'll keep them to myself forever. But that has been my path for the past couple of years. So there you have the story of, "What ever happened to KabbalahCurious.com?"

That said, I was listening to a seminar from the amazing new site UKabbalah.com this evening while cleaning house and it just so happens it was all about relationships. So many of the things the teacher discussed were things I desperately needed to hear. I find things stick with me more when I write them down (or type them out) and read them repeatedly so I thought I'd jot them down here, also for anyone else who might get some use out of them.

These are only a few key notes and highlights from the lecture. There were lots of others I'm going to keep to myself for the time being. But here are some I thought others might be interested in.

Kabbalah is not for everyone. But when I need it most, it gives me answers to the questions I have in my life and continues to remind me of the things most important, constantly pushing me to strive for a better version of myself.

"You can not reach the next level of your evolution as a human being on your own. You can't grow alone. It is impossible. The point of human interaction, the only reason we are broken up into separate entities, the only point of relationships of any kind is to help us to grow. You must have at least one person in your life in some capacity where you are willing to change yourself for them, someone you're willing to be completely selfless for. If you don't have a lover, a spouse or a partner, you must find a friend to do it for. Someone you have a connection with like none other who inspires you to want to be better."

"In partnerships, this should be a simple concept yet it is not. If both parties devoted themselves entirely to suiting the other person's needs, if both parties gave of themselves selflessly for just that one person, it would naturally negate all problems, wouldn't it? There would never be a problem in the relationship! So why are there problems? The problem comes the second one party says to themselves (or even worse aloud) about their spouse, 'You should change.' Watch it. Without fail, it will happen every time. That is the beginning of any problem in any relationship. 'You should change.' Those are magic words of death. See how the energy changes. The tone changes. The kids will look at you weird the second you start thinking it. I promise you. Go home and watch it happen."

"'You're the one with the problem, not me,' are words that have started every war we've ever known."

"And what about those moments where you think you've done so much for them? You've changed so much, you've tried so hard, right? And then they still say, 'You're selfish,' so you get ANGRY at them. You scream, 'After all I did, you STILL think I'm selfish?' Well, I've got news for you: If you're getting upset about it and screaming at them, then yes you're still selfish. They're right."

"Life is so much better once we take responsibility for everything. Even when things aren't our fault we can take responsibility. All the good. All the bad. Then the power is yours. You're not giving your power up to somebody by taking responsibility. You've just made yourself the most powerful person in the room. If you're responsible for everything, YOU'RE the only one who can change it. And that's good news because there's only one thing you're in control of ever and that's your self. Any idea that you will ever have any control over anything else in the world but you is a total illusion."

"It's not how much you love a person when you love them, but how much you love a person when you don't. True soul mates will always drive each other crazy. How can you grow without it?"

When Brandon Met Mother

2010-01-15T14:21:00.000-08:00

One stop I didn't mention during my travels... After Jacksonville, I headed back to Bradenton with Brandon Baker so he could meet my mom, Jennifer, and her husband, Jimmy.

Brandon is the absolute crowned king of knowing how to handle people (when he wants *wink* (c) PartywithBrandon.com), so it was no shock to me that my parents fell head over heels for him. He seemed to adore them as well, constantly asking me if I realized how big my mom's heart is. It was refreshing seeing that part of my life through his eyes and I'm grateful for our time there together.

I just woke up from a fuzzy dream...

2010-01-15T14:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas Ball: Post Mortem

2010-01-14T23:27:00.001-08:00

If I'm going to travel in 2010 as much as I did last year, I'm going to need to remember while on these fun little excursions to:

A. Eat healthy. Just because I'm out of town doesn't mean I can't order a salad.
B. Hit the gym. I belong to Bally for God's sake. There's one in every city.
C. Make some time for myself while on the road for extended periods of time. Without continuous daily meditation or spiritual study of some sort, I immediately regress and become unfocused and lost.

I re-read one of my past "Diary" entries tonight: "Random Thoughts Made Not So Random." Whichever of my personalities wrote that before I left for my long holiday tour was so spot on. Without time to myself, my many personalities can run amok and take over instead of balance out to make the whole.

Memory jolt granted.

I think I'm gonna to be okay. lol... It was a little touch and go there for a few minutes.

CHRISTMAS BALL TOUR: Las Vegas

2010-01-14T17:34:00.001-08:00

After a brief one-night stop in L.A. to get some local work done, I was off with Brandon Baker to his apartment in Las Vegas where we were to throw three parties for the Adult Entertainment Expo and Internext in conjunction with Cybersocket, Manhunt, Suite 703, Channel 1 Releasing and RentBoy.com.

I caught up with Brandon's best friend Lisa (she's a riot, I adore her!) and Jason Pitt on my first night in town. Jason took me to one of the worst diners I've ever had the displeasure of eating at, 24/7 at The Palms, but his company alone made it a worthwhile experience.

The next day, I caught up with my friends Bert Rowland and Kyle Foxxx. We went to see the new City Center in Las Vegas with new friends Felix Andrews and Ricky Cruz while B spent the day in the office. The Aria hotel is stunningly gorgeous, especially the fireworks water display out front. We had an amazing lunch followed by makeup shopping which is a combination always enough to make me orgasm.

That night, Brandon and I had a few firsts, one of which was throwing our first party together as a couple at Piranha. Benjamin Bradley and Roman Heart danced the night away and I met so many amazing people and caught up with wonderful friends like David Arias, Tristan Mathews, Syren Vaughn, Tommy Defendi and many others.

On Saturday, one of my best DV8 Casting boys Drew Cutler rolled into town along with fellow pornster Jayden Grey who gets more beautiful everytime I see him. These boys along with Pierce, DJ and "Tranz" all combined to make a fun Saturday afternoon before Bert and I went to see Bette Midler's show that night at Caesar's Palace.

I am so SO glad I had the opportunity to see Bette's show before it ends. It was flawless, from start to finish. Hands down the best show I've seen in Vegas. Her voice is better than its ever been and the spectacle of the concert is mesmerizing. Unlike other shows where the bright lights and crazy costumes are there to simply add flavor, everything included in Bette's show actually adds feeling, "Hello in There" being a prime example and a favorite moment for me. Plus my pal Bruce Vilanch's signature wit rests firmly upon most of the dialogue. He should be proud he's helped laregly to create one of the most entertaining shows Las Vegas has seen in ages. I'm not even a huge fan of Bette Midler. ...But I certainly am now!

Later that night, we caught up with Brandon and the boys again at Flex for a bit and then trotted over to Stix. Both clubs were "hole in the wall" fun with one being so "janky" it offered us bottle service just to stay another hour -- and it's idea of bottle service was plopping down a warm bottle of liquor on the table with plastic cups. And nothing else! But hey, it's free booze. I'll take it! (I actually didn't booze it up for once in Vegas, averaging only a few drinks a night. I'd like to do more of that in the new year.)

Before doing our second party at Gipsy on Sunday night, Brandon took all of us to see Frank Marino's "Divas Las Vegas" show. Aside from Bette, this was definitely the highlight of the trip. These are the best female impersonators I've ever seen and we had incredible seats thanks to Brandon. I am so impressed and will definitely be back to see Frank's show every time I'm in town! You might also want to check out FrankMarino.com. The video at the start of his home page reminds me so much of me, I could gag! It's like watching myself in a YouTube skit.

Sunday was fun and intimate. I got to meet the gorgeous Hunter Longe (he's going to be a new DV8 discovery this year, I think), hang out with Jeremy Bilding, Laura, Tommy and the crew of Suite703.com, Morgan and Holly from Cybersocket and more -- all while my DV8 Casting studs Drew Cutler and Jason Pitt danced on stage along with Jayden Grey.

But Monday night was the most packed of all, oddly enough! We're still not sure how that one worked out but we're grateful we were able to show everyone the best time of all at the upstairs VIP area of 8 1/2 inside Piranha on Monday night. I got to see Eddie Bastian, my DV8 Casting stud Chase Harding and many others that night. I also got to meet many people including Gary from On The Hunt, Stephan from Next Door Studios, Joel from DHD, Mason Wyler, Tommy D and others at the Manhunt private suite party a few hours before. And dinner that night with Laura and the Suite 703 crew at Yellowtail was an unforgettable experience -- the Pop Rocks roll is to die for, as was the hilarity and laughs of the company provided! They are the best!

Extra special thanks to David Arias for working out a great hotel room for Brandon Baker and I for a few nights. Thanks also to Justin Keith Bradshaw, a new friend of mine who looks so ridiculously like Brandon I was having brother fantasies in heat the entire time I was there. But most of all, thanks to Brandon for including me in the events. The promotion and networking I did there was way beyond what I anticipated it to be.

This was the final stop on my holiday tour and I must admit, having spent a few hours at home only to get in the car and head out again... I was a little homesick for my friends, my dog and my bed here in Los Angeles before even getting to Las Vegas. I tried my best to make it through with a smile, but as much as I love traveling I'm not sure four cities in five days towards the end of the tour was really such a fantastic idea on my part. This old body of mine is slowly beginning to feel all of 30.

I learned a lot on The Christmas Ball Tour 2009-2010.

I learned I really am one of the best talent scouts and managers out there who will go to the ends of the earth to take care of his boys and make sure they are happy, especially newcomers. I love taking people under my wing who I believe have potential and I love helping to create superstars.

I learned I complain a lot. Half the time, I'm serious. Half the time, I'm trying to be funny. To those who don't know me extremely well, it all just sounds like one long bitch fest.

I learned that Minneapolis rules, as does Kathy, Carlene, Bryan, Paul, Kevin and many others who dwell there.

I learned that no one is perfect and am reminded of my "pedestal" mentality noted here in the "Diary" a few entries before the tour began.

I learned not to second guess myself. Some things I'm not so good at. But others I'm really fucking good at and should not be afraid to speak up and take charge of some situations.

I learned that as much as I thought I was over a lot of things from my childhood, I'm still holding onto the past with my family and I still find it difficult to accept and embrace them for who they are. ...But I am working on it.

I learned that, as Brandon Baker succinctly put it, "Today is a new day."

CHRISTMAS BALL TOUR: New Year's in Jacksonville

2010-01-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

Brandon Wilde (you may remember from the last entry, he's my latest porn star discovery for my management company DV8 Casting) joined me in tooling up to Tampa International Airport on December 30th to grab my boyfriend Brandon Baker (inappropriately!) -- and from there, we headed to meet up with Chi Chi LaRue in Jacksonville for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day at Metro.

I've visited a lot of places in 2009, my favorite cities of the year being Seattle and Minneapolis. My least favorite unfortunately was Jacksonville and I felt bad that of all the places Brandon Baker could have been for New Year's, he was stuck not only in the armpit of Florida (although, he does enjoy a good armpit!) but also in what was truly Hell's bathroom of a club, Metro. I felt even worse for Chi Chi who the club (from owners to staff!) treated so abhorrently and disrespectfully that she chose not to return the last of the three days she was working there and so they choose not to pay her a cent for all the work she did and the bullshit she put up with on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day after she even paid her own way and hotel. For Chi Chi, the experience was truly a total nightmare and not a fine send off to 2009 or entry to 2010. I just have to go on record and say I would not recommend anyone throwing any kind of event at this venue.

That said, I'd like to focus on the positive and say that there's no one I'd have rather spent New Year's with than my boyfriend Brandon Baker and my best gal pal Chi Chi LaRue, not to mention my new boy Brandon Wilde. I also got to spend it with my friend Rhiannon Owens, whom I'd never had the pleasure of seeing perform on stage until New Year's Eve. She is not only an incredible designer, artist, drag performer and host but a true beauty inside and out. She was the saving grace that took good care of us in the city of Jacksonville and for that I thank her.

Brandon Wilde was another highlight. In his first feature headlining performance, he wowed the crowd more than even Chi Chi and I expected. He is a freakin' HOT dancer! Very talented! And the hit of the holiday!

We were also graced by the presence of porn star Colton Steele, who attended the event on New Year's Day. Colton is the most adorable little man ever! I think he could easily become the next Steve Cruz.

All in all, especially looking back on the photos, if this was the worst time we had all year... we must be damned lucky.

And we are! It's a great reminder of how much we have to be thankful for in our lives going into a new decade and another year of work in this wonderful industry.

CHRISTMAS BALL TOUR: Sarasota/Bradenton, FL

2009-12-29T13:05:00.001-08:00

After meeting new DV8 Casting discovery Brandon Wilde in Minneapolis, I discovered he'd never been on a plane, never seen a beach, never been outside of Minnesota! After I landed in Florida, I texted him, half-joking at first, telling him he should get on a plane and come see me and my family for Christmas. He jumped at the opportunity and within 48 hours had flown himself to the Sunshine State!

We made Christmas cookies on Christmas Eve, saw the beach in Sarasota on Christmas Day, had dinner with my family and then went to see "It's Complicated." (I love me some Meryl! I liked it so much I saw it again with my mom a few days later.)

I've had lots of great time with my mom here, hanging with her, my step-father Jimmy and their friends, taking in movies, overdosing on turkey and stuffing -- and I think I have successfully addicted her to "True Blood" so my job here is done.

NEXT UP: Tomorrow, Brandon Wilde and I pick up the love of my life Brandon Baker at Tampa airport and head to Jacksonville, Florida to spend New Year's Eve and New Year's Day at Metro with my best gurl Chi Chi LaRue! Then on the 2nd, Brandon Wilde will head back to Minnesota while Brandon Baker and I return to Bradenton for him to meet my parents before we head to Las Vegas for some surprise added dates and parties to the Christmas Ball Tour.

We like to keep Christmas going... as looong as possible!

CHRISTMAS BALL TOUR: Minneapolis, MN

2009-12-27T09:25:00.000-08:00

The Christmas Ball Tour kicked off in Minneapolis, home of all things Christmas, Chi Chi LaRue and Mary Tyler Moore (my FAVORITE TV show of all time - and the city exudes the "you're gonna make it after all" energy)! Chi Chi and I bundled up for the Holidazzle Parade the night we arrived and did tons of early morning shopping the next day. Only she can get me out of bed at 6 am to go to Macy's. I got to meet her wonderful family and friends -- and got majorly drunky at The Gay Nineties where I met my latest DV8 Casting discovery, Brandon Wilde! More on him in the next Christmas Ball Tour entry.

Jeanette, Isabella

2009-12-16T21:59:00.000-08:00

"Wish every light would find it's way... "

From The Diary of Jason Pitt...

2009-12-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

This vid comes from Jason Pitt's blog. Click the link for one of the cutest blogs I've ever seen! I adore him and am so glad I got to spend so much time with him while he was here in L.A. He is truly one of the good ones and I'm proud to call him my friend. He's made it into my inner sanctum, circle, harem... whatever you wanna call it, he's there!

Mrs. & Mrs. Not So Single

2009-12-11T14:40:00.000-08:00

"A Silent Night with You"

2009-12-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

"Lost in my daze, you slip past and say, 'Girl, take my hand. See, nothing has changed. Now and then I just want to spend a silent night with you.'"

Blanancing Act

2009-12-03T07:47:00.000-08:00

It's a delicate thing, the balancing act of creating your own story while also allowing it to create itself.

...But I'm getting the hang of it!

"Liza's at The Palace" on TV Tonight!

2009-12-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

If you're in Los Angeles or Las Vegas, "Liza's at the Palace," the show for which she won The Tony Award this year will debut first time on public access TV tonight weeks before the DVD becomes available.

It's airing throughout the holidays on public access in several cities throughout the country. A full listing is available at OfficialLizaMinnelli.com.

Random Thoughts Made Not So Random

2009-11-30T21:38:00.000-08:00

It's past midnight in Florida and I need to be up early so I can at least get one blog in on "Jason's News Desk" tomorrow before I head off on this ridiculous flight back to Los Angeles that takes me so far out of my way before I even begin to head back. My total travel time will be 11 hours. Ridiculous. But this is why I'm saving on airfare!

I have, however, joined the ranks of those who belong to frequent flyer programs, my first being Delta Skymiles. With all the traveling I do, you may wonder why I haven't joined any such programs until now!

Well, the answer is simple: I was in my 20's and very stupid at the time. ...Five days ago.

Yes, I turned 30 on Thanksgiving and I can't tell you how forward I am looking to becoming a responsible adult. I've decided I'm going to really pull out all the stops and become a man! I mean, why not? If Chaz Bono can do it...

Of course, the definition of "man" is one that I've been thinking of a lot lately. Our grandfathers and great grandfathers may have had it twisted when it came to any form of healthy self-expression but they sure were selfless compared to the modern man. They saw themselves as providers and protectors; men who put their work and their loved ones before wanting to go play Nintendo Wii or get wasted or cheat on their wives.

I'd like to be a real man. ...Whatever that is. I try hard to be. For someone as completely self-consumed as I am, I oddly enjoy striving for selflessness. Or maybe it isn't so odd. Perhaps it's just a form of escapism from my general consumption of meeeee! HA!

But I have been blessed going into my 30th year with some sort of supernal light being shone on a laundry list of things I'd like to improve about myself. My health and body, my financial responsibilities, being a better rounded person and stepping outside the bubble of porn and West Hollywood more often (I used to be really good at that!) ...just to name a few.

At the top of the wash though is this really horrific habit I've recognized lately where I seem to harp on the flaws of those I love most. Strangers on the street I could care less about and seem to forgive of everything from cutting in traffic to murder! Alas, for the people I love with their addictions, ill manners or overall problems, I have an astute way of rubbing their noses in it like they're bad little puppies. And then I proceed to have the answer to how they can fix it, which usually boils down to "you are responsible for your life and create the existence you want to live," as that has really worked quite well for me! (And well, la dee da! Bully for me!) All of this is done, of course, in the pursuit of helping those I love the most to lead happier lives. My goal is never to hurt them, but to give them a wake up call, so they can feel a kind of bliss that I feel in my life.

The unfortunate truth is these are conclusions people must come to on their own and making the people I care about most feel like shit about what they've done isn't going to do anything but make them feel worse.

I think I've been lucky enough to surround myself with friends who, when I pull this disgusting little stunt, know me well enough to know that it comes from a place of love. (Yeah, I know. I'm REALLY lucky! I love my friends. Beyond reason. They are the best there is.)

I've often been very hard on the people I love most, though none as hard as I am on myself. I seem to expect the most out of them. I see in the people I love the best version of them and I want them to see it too and wake it up and make it come to life.

My name, interestingly enough, "Jason" ...it's biblical meaning is The Healing One.

So listen, my intentions are good. It's the execution that has been poor. Not always! But inevitably it seems to occur at some point with those I love the most.

Which leads into my final topic of thought this evening and that is the idea of "unconditional love." I got into a heavy discussion about this on my Twitter account the other day and was surprised how many people were interested and had opinions on the subject.

I've recently come to the conclusion that there is a difference between loving someone "despite" their flaws and loving someone INCLUDING their flaws. Not that you have to love the flaw itself, but loving all of the PERSON, even the parts they think no one could love, I believe that is my definition of true unconditional love.

Now, I'm not talking about being blind to people's flaws. That's not love, that's infatuation. I'm talking about seeing the person for the totality of who they are, light and dark... instead of putting them on a pedestal and only seeing the best in them.

Hmm... funny.

I mentioned earlier, I see only the best version of my friends. The pedestal is where I keep the people closest to me. And I'm up here too. We're all having a veritable blast up here but the air's a little thin and it can get cold. Not enough oxygen for a love unconditional to keep us all warm.

So the answer to my nasty habit? Love unconditionally. A simple conclusion most probably already know how to do, but for some reason lots of the most simple things in life have always come very difficult to me.

I have to be honest too and say that when I started writing this Diary entry I had no idea that it would find it's way full circle and give me some answers to my own queries. But that's the joy of writing for me. When I put the puzzle pieces in my head on paper, they start to form a pattern and the picture becomes clearer.

Until now I'd thought only of dealing with this person by person, but why cut a weed when you can pull it out by it's root?

Why not just remove the pedestal?

So we all fall down.

The Amazing Work of Rhiannon Owens

2009-11-24T11:33:00.000-08:00

An original oil painting by Rhiannon Owens. She is brill!

Going Into My 30th Year

2009-11-18T18:27:00.000-08:00

I turn 30 on Thanksgiving this year.

My birthday doesn't always fall on Thanksgiving. Every 7 years. Interesting it's falling on such a big one considering it is a perfect time to reflect and be thankful for all that has happened over the past three decades. I can't believe I've been running JasonCurious.com since I was 21 years old. I've been working full time in the adult entertainment industry since I was 18. I've been a professional published writer and journalist since I was 15. I have lived the most surreal life. There's so much so many people don't even know about, even my constant readers, instead of updating my bio, I'm putting together a timeline I'd like to have up on the site by the end of the end of the year. It's been fun looking back, more fun looking forward -- but most fun living in and for the present moments.

Some days I'm so grateful for my life, my friends, my family... I literally cry out of sheer happiness. Today is one of those days. No reason even.

I'm putting together my final plans for the holidays today and tomorrow. You can see if I'm coming to your area in my calendar on the home page and on the frame of my "Diary" and "News Desk" blogs.

I'll be doing a little birthday "get together" with my friends at Here Lounge (696 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood) where my bestie Chi Chi LaRue will be DJ'ing this Saturday night from 10 pm - 2 am. I'll be in the tower booth. I'd love if you'd come say hello and share a toast with me to my 30th!

P.S.: First pic ever posted on the site of me without makeup or touching up. But the sun was setting on my face so it's still kinda cheating. lol ;-)