"NAKED HOLLYWOOD: EPISODE 9"

Monday, October 15th, 2001

Ask Adam & Eve and they’ll deny it to their grave, but the truth of the matter is Naked Hollywood is a blatant rip-off of the phenomenally successful HBO series Sex in the City. And why shouldn’t it be? Perhaps writer/director Toni English created the series based upon her own fantasy of seeing the four girls of Sex go all the way. Perhaps not. Whatever the case, she penned the original Naked Hollywood script, Adam & Eve agreed to produce and distribute, and Playboy TV jumped on the bandwagon airing the series as a regular "sexcom" on their network. Today, she’s shooting the ninth installment in the saga that consistently stars Keri Windsor, Nina Hartley, Dee, and Asia Carrera. (Carrera serves as replacement for Lauren Montgomery who retired from the biz after the first few episodes were already in the can.) With so many episodes to shoot, nearly everyone in the adult world has played some role in the Naked Hollywood series. Even I, in all my DV8 glory, am featured in a fashion show for episode six. And now, in episode nine, Toni’s bold enough to even bring gay pornsters into the mix with the likes of Ken Ryker.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

As I walk onto the set, our Miss English is setting up to shoot two sex scenes simultaneously. Yes, she’s as ambitious as they come. On one side of the house, the gorgeous Keri Windsor will be banged by the hunky Steven St. Croix, while on the other side of the house there’s a poolside romp with Nicole Sheridan, Monica Mayhem (it’s more than a name), and Voodoo. This is a good thing because it means I’ll be done before midnight. It’s a bad thing because I will have to run back and forth between scenes to snap shots and take notes.

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Keri Windsor approaches.	Steven St. Croix studies his dialogue.	A couple of drama queens.	Monica Mayhem & Voodoo

"Um, not fast there!"	Nicole Sheridan & Voodoo	Keri and Steven goofing off on set.	Steven plays "gay photographer."

The chemistry between Keri and Steven is already boiling by the time they meet up on the set. Keri’s been looking forward to this all morning. "I love sex with Steven!" she says greedily. "It’s been a while since I’ve had his cock, but he is perfect. Really perfect." Steven has a reputation in this industry for being two things: 1) Class Clown. Toni English tells me of a shoot a few years back where Steven took an orange and placed it between his butt cheeks, running around screaming that he had a hemorrhoid. 2) Fantastic Fuck. He has become a favorite of nearly every girl in this business, so much so that Vivid Video contracted him as one of the few "contract boys" in history back in 1996. After a brief hiatus from the world of adult, Steven is back with a vengeance this year. It seems no matter what set I’m on, Steven St. Croix is there! He’s everywhere I go. And everybody knows.

Meanwhile, I’m completely smitten by Nicole Sheridan. She has a powerhouse of a presence and it’s not even entirely sexual. There’s something so genuinely sweet about her; not innocence, but just a love of life that doesn’t always exist in people of this industry or all people in general for that matter. She’s a tall bitch too with legs that won’t quit and a couple of enhances boobies that just scream to be licked.

I’m equally entranced by Voodoo, who I have seen and thoroughly enjoyed on video, but had yet to meet in the flesh. He is far more adorable in person simply because he is an adorable person. You never get the full monty watching these people fuck on film. You have to meet them in person to see if their personality is anywhere near as beautiful as their body. In the case of Voodoo, his personality proved to be even sweeter than his nine inch cock if you can believe it and that makes his cock just that much more adorable!

So here I am, totally lusting after Nicole and Voodoo, not even knowing that the two are actually married! The crew members finally filled me in. How could this tidbit have passed me by? Me?! Gossip guru extraordinaire. Anyway, their coupling now has me ready to cream my pants and the two haven’t even begun their sex scene with Monica Mayhem. Talk about a hot threesome!

As both scenes begin, I am feeling so torn. Do I want to catch Keri choking Steven’s massive prick or do I want to watch my new best friends Nic and Voo giving Monica a run for her money? Decisions, decisions!

Picture me frantic, horny, and frustrated running back and forth between sets. I think they might have caught some of it on their "behind the scenes" reel for the DVD release. In the end, I spent more time watching the three-way, only because I’m great friends with Keri and can see her naked ass anytime.

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The odd threesome.	Like you haven't seen it before, Nicole.	Aren't Nicole's nipples just perfect?!	Monica's ass isn't bad either.

Nor is Voodoo's for that matter.	Voodoo is one lucky boy!	Ready to be sat on from both ends.

Sir Licks A Lot	I knew you'd want to see it.	Prepare to penetrate!	He's had some practice, they're a couple!

Nicole gets the best of both worlds...	...while Monica gets the best of Nicole.	Doh! Voodoo switch hits for the ass.

Once the three of them were naked, Voodoo lay on his back with Monica’s mouth at his cock and Nicole’s pussy in his face. He had the best of both worlds. Monica’s tongue slurped up and down his shaft, sucking up his precum and deep-throating all nine inches to the best of her ability while Voodoo sucked on his wife’s pussy lips, smacking her clit and fingering her hot little hole. It was an image more erotic than any I’d expected to see and it’s quite possible that I was enjoying it more than they were!

I hid behind the bushes and snapped shots of the three fuck buddies. Nicole had decided she wanted some pussy and it was Monica’s turn to lie on her back. Her tongue ran the length of her Monica’s love crease before she sucked on her clit and teased her honey hole with her fingers. Nicole’s ass was perfectly positioned towards her husband’s cock. Voodoo sees this as an opportune time to hit it doggystyle. The expression on his face is beyond ecstasy as he slips his hard rod into her tight, wet puss. She moans with delight, feeling him inside of her with her face still firmly planted in Monica’s muff. Those moans turn to screams as her hunky hubby decides to switch the hit into Nicole’s ass. He widens her hole with the length of his penis and smacks his hand down on her ass. Monica arches her back and grabs her tits as her juices flow into Nicole’s mouth. Our Miss Sheridan is one happy camper with the taste of Monica on her lips and Voodoo’s cock switching from her pussy to her ass at light speed.

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Monica Mayhem... it's not just a name!	I can't decide who I'd rather be in this pic.	Nicole's got a nice view!

Voodoo blows his massive load.	Monica just had to lick up what she could.

After a while, poor Voodoo needs to stop standing. On his back again, it’s Monica’s turn to get fucked as she sits on his dick reverse cowgirl. Nicole moves down to her husband’s cock and strokes it as it slides in and out of Monica’s twat. She sucks on his balls, looking up at Monica who is in orgasmic bliss bouncing on the well-endowed Voodoo. It’s clear from the look on the boy’s face that he’s not going to be able to take this much longer. Monica jumps off of him as he pulls the condom off his dick and starts to cum on his wife’s face and tits. His cum drips from his cock onto her nipples as she rubs it in and gets Monica to lick her clean.

Hiz-ot!

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Meanwhile, on the other side of the house...	Keri's giving Steven good face.	And good throat!	Yummy!

Keri's more than ready. .	Ecstasy.	Steven's cum drips onto Keri's face.

Just down the way, Steven is banging Keri so hard she won’t be able to walk tomorrow. The man is a jack rabbit, sticking it to her as she screams so loud the boom mike needs to be moved further and further away. For some reason, I always forget what a moaner Keri is when she’s getting boned. The woman screams like a fucking banshee and today was no exception.

I caught the two of these lovebirds just in time for the pop shot. Keri was laying upside down, her legs spread eagle in the air with Steven standing, lowering his cock in and out of her pussy. Slowly. In. Sowly. Out. His face twitches. She begs for his cum. He pulls out and drops the load down on her face. "I didn’t used to like cum on my face," says Keri. "All that’s changed since Naked Hollywood. I did my first facial in episode one with Jason McCain and fucking hated it. The more I tried it though, the more I grew accustomed to it and now I actually enjoy it. I think."

Steven apparently enjoyed it too as the cameras continued to roll and for the first time on camera, he eats his own cum, licking it off of Keri’s face and lips. Their tongues share his jizz, flicking back and forth.

Super hiz-ot!

During the lunch break, I share a kabob that "mom" the cook made with Toni English and discuss the hard work that goes into the overall production of the series. As the creator of the series, she churns out script after script, writing and shooting, shooting and writing, in a cycle that never seems to end. "And it seems like it doesn’t even matter at times," says English. "AVN didn’t give us a very good review and that really disappointed me. A lot of hard work goes into each of these episodes and I do my best to make it more than a fuck film." I’ve seen the first few episodes and I’ve got to say that, while I love AVN, the review was unfounded. If her goal was to make "more than a fuck film" English has certainly succeeded in spades. The production value is above and beyond the norm, the girls have been perfectly cast — they are their characters, and the chemistry in each sex scene is scorching. Then there’s the stories. Not only is there a plot line that holds your interest, but these four characters are ones that you immediately care for. You want to know what’s going to come of their latest drama, their latest heartbreak, their latest sexpedition. Naked Hollywood is one of the most progressive series we’ve seen from Adam & Eve or any other company in the past year and with it, English has come closer than any director in making a mainstream movie that just happens to feature explicit sex scenes. Hats off. Hiz-ot.

After a little chit chat with Toni English, I like a sly dog make my way over to Voodoo. The first thing I notice, given a chance to really hang with the dude is that his hands are so incredibly small! I grab them in mine and compare the two. "Wow," I say, breathing a sight of relief. "I thought I was the only guy with small hands who has a big dick."

"No!" he laughs, lighting up instantly. "That’s such BULLSHIT! I’ve heard that shit all my life and it’s so not true. The hands mean nothing."

Obviously.

Of course, you couldn’t argue that statement against gay adult video legend Ken Ryker, who had just entered the building. Everything about this man is big, including his legendary ten inch penis. His shoulders, his arms, his hands — it’s all just fucking huge. Which, I feel the need to warn Keri about immediately, as she is still in pain from her earlier sex session with Steven and is scheduled to fuck Ken within the hour.

I make a b-line for the dressing room and find Keri on the floor, resting comfortably. "Hate to interrupt," I whisper, "but Ken’s dick is big. You should be warned." As I had suspected, Keri was unaware of the length and width of Mr. Ryker’s super schlong. Still, she took it like a pro.

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Keri teases next victim Ken Ryker.	Wouldn't this make you cum to bed?	So he does!	Ken Ryker unravels his penis.

Keri Windsor unravels her tongue.	Mmm, to fuck that pussy and look at his body would be heaven, no?	I couldn't help but get some nice ass shots.	Damn, that thing's fine!

For a gay porn star, he sure sucks good pussy!	Keri can vouch for that.	"What are you lookin' at?!"	Poor Keri.

Or not.	Ken slides himself into Keri.	And starts to bang away!	She takes it like a pro.

"Ok, new position!"	Ouch!	Keri is lost in post orgasmic bliss.	And Ken's about to be lost in his.

Spooge!	Ken shoots his load all over her pussy.	That's one happy boy!

And one happy cock!	Speaking of cock.

In this, one of Ryker’s first ever straight scenes on film, he plays a "Tom Cruise" —ish character, a heterosexual celebrity plagued with rumors of homosexuality. At a party one night, after meeting up with Windsor’s character, he decides to prove to her just how deep his lust runs for the female love organ.

Keri gasps as he unravels his penis, but rises above her fear and unravels her tongue. With his well-endowed rod and her God-given tongue, they make the perfect oral couple. She shoves as much of his manhood in her mouth as humanly possible. Does the woman have a gag reflex? She seems to be giving head just as good as any man who’s done so in all of Ryker’s years in the gay sex pool.

Sooner than later, its Ryker’s turn to please Keri orally. She plays with her nipples as his tongue laps up her juices. He moans, his face diving deeper into her cookie. He sucks on her clit and she screams, writhing in erotic spasms. "Fuck me," she screams. Words she’ll soon regret.

Her slides about half of his cock into her wet pussy, still raw from the fuckfest early this morning. "Smack my ass," she demands on Ryker, who lightly taps her in return, always the shy and modest gentleman. "Pull my hair," she screams, and he lightly gives her a tug.

After a half hour of hardcore fucking in two different positions, Keri can take no more. "I’m sorry, it’s just so sore," she screams. "But no, no, keep fucking me." She can’t decide whether to throw in the towel or go back for more. Eventually, Toni English stops the scene, requesting that we give Keri’s throbbing pussy a rest and go for the pop shot as quickly as possible. Ryker obliges and it’s only a matter of seconds before his excited self pulls out and shoots his crystal clear load all over her taut tummy and trimmed bush. The two starts were spent. And so was I!

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Nicole Sheridan plays tress up!	Nicole Sheridan plays dress up.	"Hey! Not so hard!" he cries.	"I'll give you something to cry about."	"All in a day's work!"

On my way out the door, I caught Nicole slipping into some fetishware for a dialogue scene. "What?!" I screamed. "You mean they’re not going to let you have sex in that outfit?! Get Voodoo in here. I want some pictures of the two of you… NOW!" So Nicole and I played dominatrix to Voodoo’s submissive, picking the positions for her to torture him in while I snapped shot after shot. And here I thought my cock was finally going to get a rest for the day!

"We should just take you home with us," smiled Nicole. "Lock you in a cage under the stairs and take you out when we want to play with you."

Tease. I like cages.

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