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THE NOONER: PART 1
of 2
I stopped by the set of Spice
Live’s new program The Nooner on Monday morning,
in awe of how director Bud Lee manages to get porn stars
to rise from the bed before noon each day to shoot the live program.
After a week’s hiatus, The Nooner returned to production
this week for five days of safe sex awareness. “I’m not doing it
because of what is happening in the industry,” explained Bud Lee.
“Actually, this is safe sex awareness month so it was something
we had been planning.”
Each day two episodes of The Nooner are aired
live, each episode with its own two porn star hosts. Originally,
Bud Lee’s concept for The Nooner was to make each host a real-life
porn star couple. Scheduling conflicts and a lack of functional
relationships kept that idea from coming to fruition and now the
show just focuses on pairing the porn people with the most chemistry.
The first show up this morning features Cytherea,
perhaps most known for her ability and velocity in “squirting” during
sex, and everybody’s favorite “no drama” straight sex stud, Julian.
The show’s format is simple enough. Cytherea and Julian
begin on the couch completely clothed and by the end of the show
wind up completely naked and more often than not fucking each other.
Throughout the show, the hosts tackle a topic, cut to movie clips,
or take calls from listeners who either want advice or to have late
morning/early afternoon phone sex. It’s usually the latter.
Spice TV, incidentally, is one of the first, if not
the first, station to show hardcore sex. XX is what they call it,
something between X and XXX, that features penetration but no anal
and no cum shots - which is tricky when it comes to sex with Cytherea
because her often involuntary squirts can be construed as a pop!
Cameras are constantly trying to cut away from what‘s going on down
there, but if you watch carefully you can catch a couple seconds
of it per episode.
The subject of “going down” is brought up at one point
where Julian refers to the duties as everything from cunnilingus
to rimming and salad tossing. Cytherea is lost. She’s never heard
of these terms and needs a thorough explanation from Julian, who
goes onto admit that he doesn’t mind being rimmed. “I can have a
bit of tongue in my ass,” he smiles. “I prefer to lick a girl’s
ass though.”
Julian then proceeds to plug the web sites Condomania.com
and TheyFit.com, where you can use their measuring system to have
them custom make condoms to fit your cock perfectly. “They actually
feel really good,” says Julian, who uses them throughout the show.
After cutting to a clip, Cytherea smiles the sweetest
smile and laughs a girlish giggle as she tells me about how I was
an asshole to her last time we met. Unfortunately, I do not remember
meeting her prior to today’s show. “It was at the Listener’s Choice
Awards and you were all dressed up in a top hat and cane and huge
boots,” she describes. Yes, I tell her, I remember the evening but
still not her. “I was new on KSEXradio
at the time. I’m not there anymore, but I came up and introduced
myself to you.”
“Did I say something rude?” I asked.
“No, you wouldn’t even speak to me. You said nothing,”
she continues to laugh. “It was very diva and then all of these
people came up and told me that you didn’t like me very much.”
I explained to the poor girl that I didn’t remember
the incident at all, but that I certainly had no reason to dislike
her. Fortunately, she didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, which
was disconcerting in and of itself. But I figure if she can get
over me refusing to acknowledge her presence at an award’s show,
I can deal with the fact that it was no skin off her back.
Bud takes me aside and tells me that the show will
not always be called The Nooner, as its time slot will eventually
be changed to the midnight hours. They are discussing new names,
one of which was Pillow Talk.
I look back at the action and Julian is smacking Cytherea’s
clit as she ejaculates and the camera attempts to cut away. “Um,”
she stammers. “That was lube!”
The show wrapped and I stuck around for the next episode
featuring Holly Hollywood
and Barrett
Blade.
To be continued…
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